Wednesday, June 15, 2016

In The Swimming Pool

On the fifth grade field trip to the local swimming pool:

"Today was awesome.  I passed the swimming test.  We played basketball, volleyball, and had pizza.  Also, girls are so cute."

"Oh yeah?  Was it their swim suits that made them extra cute today?"

"No, it was the way their hair flowed all around them in the water."

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Wisdom of The Ages

"Mom you need to tell me when you're getting angry"

"Seriously, can't you tell?  Don't you know it's safe to assume that I will become angry with your repeated disrespect and disobedience?"

"But Mom in those times I'm too busy dealing with my own emotions, I can't also manage to understand yours too, so you have to tell me."

"So even though all indicators would tell you that I am getting mad, you want me to stop and announce it to you?"

"Yes, and please make it a little bit shocking."

"Huh?  Like I should yell obscenities at you or what?"

"You know how if you want to stop a bully you have to shock them by yelling "STOP" sort of in their face?  That shocks them and and makes them realize what they are doing and then makes them stop what they are doing.  That's basically what you need to do to me."

"How about if I give you a smack, would that also work?  Maybe a shock collar?"

"Yes, those would work too."